Something About A S.I.R.
by Synia
Summary: One Day Dib Meets another S.I.R. and, eesh, if you want to know so bad read the dang thing!!!
1. SOmething that I thought of

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Zim, Kay? If I did I would be dancing around and laughing at all my sad, sad little classmates shrieking "I have my own cartoon series and thousands of fans across the country! Nya nya nya nya!!!"  
  
Dib and The S.I.R.  
  
Written BY Synia Ragnarok  
  
  
  
"Oh Crap…" Dib shouted as he nearly went tumbling over the edge of a 6000 mile high mountain top. Luck for him a metallic hand reached out and grabbed him by the collar of his trench coat.  
  
"You must be suicidal or something. That's the third times you've done that!" The S.I.R said in that metallic voice of hers. Dib fell backwards and collapsed into the stone ground.  
  
"Well, you're not running for your life." Dib retorted. The S.I.R. nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I guess your right." Said the S.I.R. sheepishly. Dib pulled himself up and turned around.  
  
Only to see Xye's voot cruiser there. With Xye smiling sinisterly at him through the purple glass as the missiles loaded.  
  
"I could have avoided all of this…" Dib thought sadly. " If only I had taken a different route to skool…".  
  
  
  
[2 Months Earlier]  
  
It was a chilly October morning. The trees sported their new colorful leaves. The sun had not yet risen over the horizon, but that didn't mean others hadn't risen yet.  
  
"I have it Gaz! The perfect plan! It's foolproof!" Dib exclaimed, running into the kitchen, waving some papers covered in messy calculations in the air. Gaz looked up wearily from her bowl of Count Chocula cereal.  
  
"It's too early for you to bug me." She stated. Dib sat down at the table.  
  
"But I really have it this time Gaz! It's foolproof, I swear! Just look at these!" Dib shoved the papers over to his sister who looked at them for a second then glanced at her brother.  
  
"Numbers don't lie Gaz. Numbers NEVER lie!" Dib cried happily. Gaz sighed. She was really too tired for revenge.  
  
Her insomnia had been eating away at her for weeks now. It was a good thing and still bad. Good because without sleep she had more time to finish her games but because she was always so out of it even she, the great goddess of Gameslaves, wasn't playing very well.  
  
"Fine ignore me if you must. But soon, very soon, you will all thank me for my selfless efforts to save humanity!" Dib said dramatically while storming out of the room. He shut the door behind him violently.  
  
Gaz looked over the couch. She grinned and began counting silently to herself.  
  
  
  
1…  
  
2…  
  
3…  
  
4…  
  
5…  
  
The door opened slowly and Dib marched in, cheeks flushing slightly. He grabbed his backpack and Binder off of the couch and walked back outside, shutting the door quietly behind him.  
  
"Idiot…" Gaz muttered. She continued to eat he highly sugared cereal.  
  
Dib walked towards the skool eagerly, the plans tightly sealed away in his backpack.  
  
"Oh boy." Dib thought happily"Zim is as good at dead." Infact, Dib was so happy and sure of his soon-to-be victory over his rival that he didn't pay very much attention to where he was going. That is, until he tripped over something and landed flat on his face.  
  
"Watch where you're going earth scum!" a voice shrieked. Dib felt himself being tossed aside.  
  
Dib jumped up and glared at his opponent.  
  
"Zim!" Dib looked at the robot in front of him. "G.I.R?" He asked. The S.I.R. looked up at Dib with its cold ruby eyes.  
  
"No. OI am S.I.R. 6,666. You are…" The Robot paused and waited for Dib's response.  
  
"I get it! Zim disguised you as a different S.I.R! You won't fool me G.I.R." Dib paused and smiled. He reached into his pocket and produced a small bag filed with lukewarm Taquitos.  
  
" Hey G.I.R., go get the taquitos!" Dib ordered playfully, tossing the taquitos in the distance. The S.I.R watched the taquitos fly across and land in the bushes. The S.I.R sighed and turned back to Dib.  
  
"Look, I have no idea who this G.I.R. person is but I wish you would stop mentioning him and/or her. I was wondering if you knew where the 'skool' is located." Asked the S.I.R. Dib nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I know where it is, but I have to met up with a certain person to bring them to their death, Bye bye G.I.R.' Dib said waving his hand dismissively as he walked away from the small robot.  
  
The S.I.R.'s eyes narrowed and its arm shot out and tied around Dib's leg. It dragged Dib towards it. The Sir lifted Dib into the air and looked at the young boy.  
  
"Now you listen here! I am not GIR! Okay? I MA NOT GIR! I don't even know who this GIR is so just stop with the name calling! I am SIR number six thousand six-hundred-sixty-six! Okay?!" The S.I.R cried angrily. Its red eyes faded to a light magenta as it watched the poor boy.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry. Really, I am…" The S.I.R. said lowering Dib to the ground.  
  
"I've just had a really really bad day." The S.I.R said sadly. Dib rubbed his ankle where the S.I.R.'s claw had held him moments before.  
  
"Who are you?" Dib asked, turning to the S.I.R. The S.I.R looked off into the distance.  
  
"I told you, I am number 6,666. Weren't you listening?" It asked. Dib shook his head.  
  
"No, I mean, where did you come from?" He asked. The S.I.R sighed. "Irk…" It said. Dib jumped up.  
  
"Is that where Zim's came from? Is that his home planet?" Dib asked. The S.I.R.'s amethyst eyes looked confused.  
  
"Zim? Zim who?"  
  
"You know, Zim! The green kid!"  
  
"All the warriors of my planet are green…"  
  
"I mean, the green kid that is here on earth! Do you know him? He has a robot that looks a lot like you." Dib insisted. The robot shook her head.  
  
"No, I do not know of this 'Zim' you speak of. Al though I am very intrigued to meet him if it is possible." the S.I.R said. Dib heaved a sigh and looked at the S.I.R.  
  
"So, where is your master?" asked Dib. The violet eyed S.I.R. looked a little surprised.  
  
"She is…in hiding…" The S.I.R. said like each word brought pain. Dib blinked.  
  
"She?" He asked. The S.I.R. nodded.  
  
"My Master is female. A light skinned, red eyed weapons specialist. She's very bitter"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Not even I know the answer to that."  
  
"Why aren't you with her?"  
  
"She dismantled me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She threw me away. Claimed I was useless, as I was, and threw me away along with cleansing chalk wrappers old letters from Void."  
  
"Voi?"  
  
"Old friend."  
  
"What happened to him?"  
  
"…"  
  
"What happened to him?"  
  
"He…died."  
  
"Oh…"  
  
"So exactly how many questions are you gonna ask me anyway?"  
  
"I guess I'm finished." Dib yanked at his backpack strap and opened in without ever taking his eyes away from the S.I.R.  
  
"You can stay with me." Dib pulled the plans out and the backpack on the ground.  
  
"Why would you let me do that?" asked the S.I.R.  
  
"Blame OOC writing." Dib said indifferently.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing. So, you're coming?"  
  
"Why not, it's not like I have anything to lose" The small android claimed into the surprisingly spacious backpack  
  
"So anyways, what should I call you? You know, like a name?" Asked Dib. "I can't exactly call you 6,666." Dib pointed out. The android pondered this for a moment.  
  
"How about Xaz?"  
  
"Xaz?"  
  
"Xaz."  
  
"Sounds good." Dib said non-chalet. He continued to walk to school hen sudeenl7y he remembered his plan to defeat Zim. He began running.  
  
A/N: Walla, chapter one is done! Yeah. I know. Kind of sucks, but it will get better in the later chapters, I swear! I just have trouble writing beginnings. That's all. Anyways…if you have any heart at all or even if you are an evil flamers please leave a little review for me to look at while I am extremely bored. Oh, and if anyone out there feels like MSTing this story, go ahead. 


	2. Just movin the plot along

For once in his life Dib arrived on time to class. He had run all the way to skool just to find out Zim's mother had called in a said he was sick.  
  
"His mother called in?" Dib asked again. Ms. Bitters nodded.  
  
"Yes, his mother. NOW SIT DOWN!"  
  
Dib blinked and trudged over to his seat. He didn't like the idea of having to WAIT until tomorrow to execute his perfect plan.  
  
While Dib was thinking about how unfair his life was, Xaz sat in his backpack in a locker, sleeping contently. That is until she heard some crashing noises in the hall.  
  
Xaz's violet eyes glowed crimson and she kicked her way out of the locker and the through the backpack.  
  
She landed with a small CLINK and looked around. An odd looking S.I.R. was rocketing through the hallways laughing.  
  
"What in the Name of The almighty Tallest is going on here?" She demanded of the gray colored blur.  
  
G.I.R. stopped bouncing and looked over at Xaz.  
  
"I'm looking for the cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese." G.I.R explained, eyes narrowing seriously as he held out a block of cheddar.  
  
Xaz stepped a few more feet away from the small android.  
  
"What is this 'cheese' you speak of?" Xaz's eyes fell to a mellow purple.  
  
"Itz YUMMY!" And to prove this G.I.RR took a large bit out of the cheese he held in his hand. Xaz blinked.  
  
"You eat…food?" She asked.  
  
"Well, like, DUH!" G.I.R. said while rolling his eyes. He soon discovered how fun rolling his eyes was and continued to for 5 minutes until he become dizzy and fell onto his metallic butt with a CLINK.  
  
Xaz looked at G.I.R with curiosity.  
  
"You're not a normal S.I.R. are you?" She asked. G.I.R. shook his head.  
  
"Of course not! I'm GI.R.!" G.I.R extended his hand. Xaz looked at it curiously for a moment.  
  
"What are you doing?" She asked. G.I.R stood up.  
  
"I don't know…" He said in an awed tone. Then he picked up the cheese off of the ground and flew off.  
  
"Well, I have to find the cheese!" he cried happily. GI.R ran out of the building. Xaz looked at the small clock that was mounted on the wall uncertainly.  
  
" Well, the boy still has about 8 more hours of school left, might as well find out where this G.I.R lives." She began flying after G.I.R silently, wondering where this little guy was going.  
  
"Wake up Zim…" A voice said. Zim's opened his eyes but all he saw was darkness. It felt like he was tied to a chair with Irken style chains.  
  
"I-I can't see! I'm BLIIIND!" Zim cried.  
  
"Zim, shut up. You're not blind."  
  
"Then how come I can't see?"  
  
"It's a blindfold. Primitive but effective in confusing the dimwitted." A scratchy female voice said. The blindfold was yanked off of Zim's face. He looked up at his capture.  
  
A rather tall Irken with pale green skin. Clad in an outfit identical to the Tallest except for the fact that it was all black and gray.  
  
"Who are you? And what are you doing in my home?" Zim demanded. The intruder laughed.  
  
"I'm Xye and I'm taking your base little man. And guess your gonna have to leave too." The female looked around and grabbed a phone book off of the table. She flipped through the pages, searching for something.  
  
"What are you doing?" Zim demanded, trying to activate his back pod razors.  
  
"It won't work." The female Irken muttered while dialing numbers on the phone. "I removed your back pod. I'm not stupid. And your computer won't respond either, I've reprogrammed it." Her voice had a pleased tone to it. Zim blinked and decided to try anyway.  
  
"Computer! Take me to the Control Deck." He shouted. There was no response. Xaz smiled as she waited someone on the other line to pick up.  
  
"Um Hi! Yeah. I was wondering; do perhaps have any use for an alien from another planet?" She asked. She tapped her foot while waiting for someone on the other line to pick up. After a few moments she nodded, her grin growing wider.  
  
"Uh huh, okay, thank you. Yeah, I'll drop him off at the studio in a few hours, bye bye" Xye hung up the phone and turned back to Zim.  
  
"See? I won't even have to kill you! I'll leave it up to the scientists. It will be so much more humiliating for you to die in the hands of humans." She began looking around for something.  
  
"Hey Zim?"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Do you have any large and strong boxes just lying around the house?"  
  
"Yeah, check the storage room."  
  
"Thanks" Xye called the computer to take her down to the storage room. Zim thought about what he had just said for a few seconds then…  
  
"*Insert a long stream Irken Profanity here*"  
  
A/N: Remember this is my first fic on Fanfiction.net so be kind. 


	3. Dee do da doo

While Zim waited for his doom, a question suddenly crossed his mind.  
  
"Where the heck is GIR?! He's supposed to be helping me escape doom right now!"  
  
Unfortunately for poor Zim, GIR was rocketing around the local park screaming about the lord of the cheese with a VERY annoyed SIR fallowing him.  
  
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!" GIR crashed through a few trees, laughing manically.  
  
  
  
Xaz, who noticed GIR had been flying around in circles, stopped and landed. She looked over at the hyper little android.  
  
"I swear, his program must be messed up…" She said. GIR then began to chase after a squirrel. "Very, very messed up."  
  
Xaz decided to activate her disguise. A hologram of a small girl with blonde braids took place of the SIR. The girl jumped out of the tree and landed gently on the sidewalk below.  
  
She jumped back as two people, a women and her son, walked by. They did not acknowledge Xaz though, due to the fact they were in an argument.  
  
"But mother, I do not wish to see the dentist! My teeth are perfect! Flawless! I do not require to see this 'dentist'."  
  
"Now Pepito, we are arguing about this. You pull this every time we go to the dentist."  
  
"Because I am right! He ALWAYS says my teeth are perfect! This is a waste of time! Besides, the offices are cold…"  
  
"You know there are many kids who wish they could see the dentist and have good health care."  
  
"Then take one of them instead of me."  
  
"You going and that is that."  
  
But mo-"  
  
"Shh."  
  
"Bu-"  
  
"Shh."  
  
"Ma-"  
  
"Shh."  
  
The little boy muttered in frustration and trudged along behind his mother.  
  
"Earthanoids act so odd sometimes…" She blinked and turned back to GIR.  
  
"Hey…GIR! " Xaz paused as GIR turned to her.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I hear the squirrel is hiding at your house."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really!"  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really!"  
  
"Really?!?!?!"  
  
"Really."  
  
"REALLY?!?!?!"  
  
"…"  
  
" Whoo Hoo!" GIR flew off towards the base. Xaz sighed and hid behind a bush. Her hologram changed into that of a bird and she flew away, following GIR.  
  
"Finally we are getting somewhere." She thought. It was about then that some child in the park thought it a proper time to launch rocks into the air with a sling shot.  
  
As Xaz escaped the wrath of the punk with a slingshot she turned back and recorded him in her memory.  
  
Then she shot after GIR, eager to see where this odd little SIR lived. Not knowing that soon she would meet up with her mistress, the one who threw her out. She would soon meet up with Xye. And that, my friends, would not be pretty.  
  
  
  
A/N: I have a question, are there any Invader ZIM MSTs? I haven't seen any. Then again I'm…oh, how do you put? Oh yeah, stupid. If you know of any please let me know. I love MSTs 


	4. More Mentionings of Cheese

Dib looked at the clock and sighed restlessly. The moments were dragging bye at an unbelievably slow pace. Every second seemed to linger. So, it was pretty much an average day of skool.  
  
Xaz watched through the window, her eyes barely peaking above the frame. She gasped.  
  
"Oh no..." She muttered. "Xye..." The little android looked over at Zim and tilted her head.  
  
"Ohh, so THAT'S Zim. He's awfully short to be an invader." Xaz noted. She sat down to contemplate.  
  
"Hmm...If I get a hold of that base I might stand a chance of getting home. If not then I'll be stuck on this floating dust ball for the rest of my eternal life." She paused and peaked back into the window "But if I fail Xye will probably tie me down and force me to watch MTV for the rest of eternity..." Xaz shuddered and got up. "Well, one must take risks to achieve anything." Xaz gulped and looked around for GIR.  
  
"GIR? Oh no..."  
  
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! Who wants funyuns!?!?!" GIR cried, jumping on Ms.Bitters desk. Dib, whop had been napping a moment before, looked up in shock at the little GIR who was singing a song about a pineapple and pants.  
  
"Okay. Maybe I have been thinking about exposing Zim too much..." Dib thought. HE rubbed his eyes and looked back at GIR.  
  
"At least I don't think I'm dreaming..." Dib began to get up when Ms.Bitters glared at him. Dib sat back down and watched GIR apprehensively.  
  
GIR then rocketed out of the skool, right before Ms.Bitters could crush him with the sledge hammer she kept under her desk. Dib twitched.  
  
"If GIR is running around then Zim's home is most likely left defenseless." Dib's eyes lit up and he got up.  
  
"I'm sorry Ms.Bitters but I have to leave class early, the world depends on it!" Dib announced. He ran out of the class, heroic fanfare coming from no where unparticular.  
  
"Hey, Ms.Bitters?"  
  
"Yes Zita?"  
  
"Um...why didn't you stop him?"  
  
"Did you really want him here?"  
  
"Good point."  
  
"There must be some way out of this box. I'll just use my AMAZING brainpower to think of a way out...yeah." Zim's face took on a look of deep concentration. HE cried out angrily. "It is hopeless, when a genius like me cannot think of a way out then it must mean doom! Doooooo-"  
  
"Hiya Master!"  
  
"Oh hi GIR. Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooom, wait, GIR?" Zim looked at the small android who had managed to crawl inside the box. "What are you doing here?" Zim asked. GIR giggled.  
  
"I got the cheese ya asked for!" GIR held up the infamous cheese. Zim blinked.  
  
"GIR...I didn't ask for cheese."  
  
"You didn't?"  
  
"No GIR, I didn't"  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Well GIR, what are you going to do with it?"  
  
"I"MA EAT IT MYSELF!" GIR shrieked then gobbled up the cheese happily.  
  
"GIR, that's nice and all but would mind HELPING ME OUT OF HERE!?"  
  
"Oh sure master." GIR cut the box open with his hands. Zim looked around for Xye, she was nowhere in sight.  
  
"Good GIR, now untie me!"  
  
"Why would I do that?"  
  
"Because if you do I'll...give you my bear suit." Zim grimaced at the thought of losing the bear suit that he had cherished for so long, but he knew it might be the difference between life and death.  
  
  
  
"Dib! You don't know how relieved I am to see you!" Xaz cried, running up to the trench coat clad boy.  
  
"Um...why?"  
  
"Because my evil mistress, she about to send ZIM off to some lab! And she wants to rule the world! And I'm allergic to wombats!" Xaz gave Dib a hug. Dib pushed her away  
  
"Don't worry. I'll take care of it!" Dib marched off to the house, a fazer gun in his hand (why, because real guns are offensive and not politically correct *insert big cheesy grin here*)  
  
He stopped as his hand touched the doorknob and looked over his shoulder at Xaz.  
  
"Um, Xaz?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Did you say wombats?"  
  
"Just go!" Xaz said angrily. Dib shrugged and pushed open the door.  
  
A/N: Another short chapter. I promise they are gonna get longer...eventually. 


End file.
